Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Just an Average Joe

(Apologising in advance for a kinda D related but mainly venting about stuff blog)

Do you ever feel like your just average, no matter what you do or how hard you try?

Thats how I feel at the moment.

I can put 100% in to something but it's never good enough, and it's not a nice feeling. I was the student who'd spend hours doing work, trying my hardest and still getting a C or the most a B. Other people strolled in having spent the last hour doing work and getting A's.

I've stressed and more stressed, ran myself down to the point where I had two colds in a matter of weeks, had god awful migraines and been in tears worrying about work. Also had a 19.8 result before lunch because I'd held it all in until I'd left.

And I'm still not good enough.

What the point of trying so god damn hard?

I was doing really well with my sugars too and thats been totally ruined by today. It's my first PDAC adjusting course session on Friday and I'm determined to not let today spoil it.

People suck.


Mike said...

Sorry to hear you are feeling down Emma.

I know this is going to sound trite and glib, but I really do think that every single person is special. Nobody has your unique collection of talents, abilities, personality and experiences. Just by writing down how you feel about your rubbish day today you might be expressing exactly what someone else is feeling. The fact that you have the courage to put these feelings honestly 'out in the open' means that someone else weighed down and burdened by them can say, "Wow! that's exactly how I feel" and know that they are not alone. I know I have felt this way when reading your blog before.

The fact that you strive to achieve and do the very best you can at everything is an amazing attribute and not something to beat yourself up about.

Hope you feel better soon.

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