Scared

So I might have skirted over the truth a little in my last blog...

I'm getting really scared/anxious about my first retinopathy screening tomorrow afternoon which is making me feel queasy, tense and giving me a headache. It's not the actual process that's scaring the shit out of me right now, but the results. The thought of being on tenterhooks for a couple of weeks fills me with dread, plus what if they don't arrive before I go on holiday?

You hear so many stories about retinopathy problems and blindness that it's enough to scare even the most unshakable people. I know I have youth on my side which I think is a good thing but I have no idea how long I've had D before my 'official' diagnosis so could I have developed some complications?

My eye-sight is bad enough as it is without retinopathy. Both eyes are around the -7 mark and I've worn glasses since the age of 10. Don't think I'd deal with eye problems on top of D very well. Hoping that better control is helping and that I'm worrying over nothing.

I don't want to worry my folks with my fears, but right now I'd just like someone to give me a hug and tell me it's all going to be alright.