Then and Now

hey folks

i've seen a few of these on different blogs now and fancied joining in!

definately been strange looking back at how things were and how they are now :)

10 Years ago I was:

• a few months away from my 12^th birthday
• singing along to the Spice Girls
• not diabetic
• carefree
• just starting secondary school

5 Years ago I was

• overweight
• unhappy with my appearance
• finding out which friends I could/couldn't rely on
• taking my GCSE's
• starting to come out of my shell with a part-time job

1 Year ago I was

• still coming to terms with my diabetes
• making great new friends at work >>
• 3 stone lighter and looking a little ill
• depressed and angry
• telling the 'friends' I couldn't rely on where to go

Yesterday I

• spent the entire day under 10mmol
• played on the Wii with Amy <<
• updated my blog
• cleaned my room
• tried on some new clothes

Today I

• had my hair cut
• got to lie-in until half past 8
• played on my blackberry
• am not letting my D bother me
• am feeling relaxed

5 Songs I know all of the words to

• stop – spice girls (dance moves too =D)
• summer of '69 – bryan adams
• who knew – pink
• make me wanna die – the pretty reckless
• At Last – Etta James

5 Things I would do with 100 million dollars

•  pay off my parents mortgage and bills
• emigrate
• give a chunk to charity
• travel around the world
• ummm... go shopping?

5 Favourite TV shows

• true Blood
• scrubs
• csi
• ugly betty
• gossip girl

5 Biggest Joys

• my family
• my friends
• club
• the DOC
• my blog

xx

Stress

hey folks

it's been a little while since my last post. i've had a rough few weeks (non d-related) which has involved a few tears and a whole heap of stress, which has started affecting my levels.

i also ended up missing my PDAC course (got lost wandering around) and obviously the first day is the most important... so i decided to go for a course later on in the year when hopefully things aren't as manic and i can concentrate on it fully without worrying about having time off and what i will be coming back to afterwards.

so yeah the past month has sucked, apart from two good days.

my levels have been in the early teens this week apart from today (when i'm not at work) so i'm hoping for a nice weekend d-wise!

looking forward to the next few months and have started buying some d-stuff for my holiday in may. got a couple of frio wallets and looking for a kit to keep all my stuff in <any recommendations would be awesome thank you!>. plus i've given a couple of booklets to my parents to look at so they know what to do and what to expect/look out for.

can't wait till may 16th!!!!

xx

Just an Average Joe

(Apologising in advance for a kinda D related but mainly venting about stuff blog)

Do you ever feel like your just average, no matter what you do or how hard you try?

Thats how I feel at the moment.

I can put 100% in to something but it's never good enough, and it's not a nice feeling. I was the student who'd spend hours doing work, trying my hardest and still getting a C or the most a B. Other people strolled in having spent the last hour doing work and getting A's.

I've stressed and more stressed, ran myself down to the point where I had two colds in a matter of weeks, had god awful migraines and been in tears worrying about work. Also had a 19.8 result before lunch because I'd held it all in until I'd left.

And I'm still not good enough.

What the point of trying so god damn hard?

I was doing really well with my sugars too and thats been totally ruined by today. It's my first PDAC adjusting course session on Friday and I'm determined to not let today spoil it.

People suck.

My Veins Work Again!

So my last post I was worrying about my next blood test and how the sweet looking old lady was a bit rough because I have bad veins that hide when a needle approaches...

Not this time! :D
I had a very nice younger nurse who did it straight away without bruising me at all. I think she could tell I was relieved but the mahoosive sigh after.

My PDAC adjusting course starts next Friday, still got to fill in the questionnaire which I'm not looking forward to as I don't really know how to rate my health etc. I eat better than previous years but still not enough fruit & veg although I do get a lot of regular exercise during the week.

Sugars are starting to behave once again now I'm back in a routine which is good, although I need to start continuing it over the weekend. I need to stop the long lie-ins and settle for an extra hour instead :( Also going to start making these damn recipes I keep forgetting about!!

Cinema last night was really good (went to see Love & Other Drugs) apart from the hypo towards the end. I felt really cold but just thought it was drafty in the cinema so didn't think much of it until the end credits and I stood up.. then I knew. Had some jelly babies in my bag so went to the car and tested.

2.7.
Pants.

Had 5 jelly beans and by the time I got home I was 5.5 but felt sooo tired I fell asleep in the clothes I had on. Funniest thing was my mum saying "are you alright Emma? Do you need some insulin to bring your sugar up?"

¬_¬

I got a little annoyed and explained again that hypo means I need jelly beans or something. Gahhh!! This year I'm determined to get my parents to read more stuff about diabetes than in some stupid Sainsburys leaflet. If its the last thing I do!!

xx

New Plan

Hi folks

Hope you've had a good start to the new year! Mine was a bit of a damp squid... maybe NYE 2011 is the year I'll actually see it in from somewhere apart from my bedroom.

I used to love the week between Xmas and New Year, sleeping until 10am, eating whenever, pyjama days. Now its different. It cocks up my routines and my sugars show it. I'm getting double figures again the mornings which I'm not happy with despite giving myself extra Lantus (which had been working great until recently).

Maybe my body's getting used to routine again?

Ugh diabetes is a pain in the arse. Whats it going to be like in Florida? I really want to enjoy this holiday and right now I'm worried its just going to be test, test, test. Last time I went it was the month before I got diagnosed and I felt god awful. Really want the diabetes fairy to be on my side this time =/

I also found out last week (thanks to the rubbish Royal Mail post problems) that I have to have another blood test before my adjusting course at the end of the month. Plus there's a nice long questionnaire to go with it.

Awesome ¬_¬

My last blood test was only a few weeks ago and it hurt like hell for about 3 days!!! I know it'll help the experts etc but you'd think with my last one being not so long ago they'd let me off... My appointments on Friday so at least I'll have the weekend.

I'm looking forward to the course, a few people on the forum have done different versions all saying how great it was and how its helped them a lot. I really hope it does. I'd love to have a lower HbA1c in April at my next 4 monthly check up.

So my new plan for 2011 is to test more - mainly after meals which I don't do very often - and to start using these recipes I've got, rather than them gathering dust. Also maintain/improve my exercise and see how it goes from there!

xx

First 2011 post

Saw this on Scullys blog and couldn't resist :)

Happy New Year! Hope its a good one with lots of good levels!!


 1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?  Joined a great online forum and started blogging :)
2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions from last year and will you make any for 2011?  I don't make them any more, I always try to stop biting my nails.... but I've kinda given up on that :P
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  Nope4. Did anyone close to you die?  No
5. What countries did you visit?  None in 2011 but Florida this year!!6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?  More confidence and emotional stability
7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory...and why?  1^st June when I passed my driving test first time!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Passing my driving test
9. What was your biggest failure?  Letting my D affect me more than it should.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  Three bouts of the lurgy this year, one of which I'm still suffering with now – not impressed at all!
11. What was the best thing you bought?  Olive!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration  My mum and dad, they still don't really understand diabetes but always help me and are there for me when I need them
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?  No-one's made me appalled but a couple have disappointed me.
14. Where did most of your money go?  My first car, Olive :)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  Passing my driving test, my 21^st birthday
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?  I couldn't think a defining song of 2010... Eminem & Rihanna was played a lot though
17. Compared to last year, are you... 
...happier/sadder? Happier than last year, but still in the middle
...thinner/fatter? I weigh more than last year but I'd lost a lot just after diagnosis so I'm pretty happy with my weight now – for a change!
...richer/poorer? Probably about the same?
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?  Having fun and enjoying myself
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?  Worrying, getting upset over stupid things
20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?  XD bit late on this one, I spent New Year's Eve in bed watching Troy
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?  Nope
22. How many one-night stands?  None.  Who would honestly answer this anyway? << my sentiments exactly!
23. What was your favourite TV program?  True Blood <3
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?  I don't 'hate' anyone.... just intensely dislike ;)
25. What was the best book you read in 2010?  Best books were the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlene Harris
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?  Didn't really make one :D
27. What did you want AND get?  Some great friends! Online and off
28. What did you want and NOT get?  Mr Right

29. What was your favourite film of the year?  Either Avatar or Kick Ass

30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?  I turned 21 in 2010 and the girls from work surprised me with a meal out and drinks after which was a great night

31. What ONE thing would have made your year immensely more satisfying?  Someone special to have shared it all with

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?  Errm a fashion concept? I just go with what I fancy! Sometimes jeans a top & a hoodie or sometimes a floaty frock

33. What kept you sane?  Chuntering at work, the DOC, the forum and my blog

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Alexander Skarsgard

35. What political issues stirred you the most?  Possibly the student riots with a minority spoiling it for the majority who were protesting peacefully

36. Whom did you miss?  Someone who I used to talk to everyday but not any more

37. Who was the best new person you met?  I didn't meet any 'best new people' but I got to know people and found out they were besties!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson that you learned in 2010.  Stressing over stuff never helps!

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:  You can run over me with your eighteen wheeler, but you can't keep me down

xxx