Have A Nice Day

I've been a pretty rubbish blogger this year. Sitting down to write a post but letting things distract me or just putting it off until tomorrow, then the next day yaddayadda <insert more excuses> I'm not the most open and trusting person on the planet, so sitting down to write how I'm feeling isn't the most appealing thing. However I've gotten a little better thanks to the people I've 'met' online with their constant encouragement, whatever the situation.

Seeing that the Fourth Annual Diabetic Blog Week had come round again already to me was fate, and time that I got my butt back on here!

DBW was created by the amazing Karen at Bitter Sweet encouraging bloggers to share their own unique stories and insights on particular D (and non-D) related subjects. It's a great opportunity to connect with other PWD and see how they deal with their D. All of the sign-up information and post topics are available over at Bitter Sweet :)

As for little old me (24 next month.. Oh my freaking gawwdd!) I'm doing okay at the mo. I got my eye screening results back last month and have reversed the background retinopathy found last year =D

*do a little dance*
*make a little...
BACK TO TOPIC!

The holiday to Florida that I've been worrying and panicking about for months has sadly been and gone :( However it was a very different trip from the last one. I got advice from the Diabetic Nurse at my local surgery after finding various different methods of dealing with time zones etc online. She took note of everything I currently did and suggested sticking with injecting at UK time (around 4/5pm USA time). After a few bumpy days of BG results (and one case where I remembered my Lantus 3 hours after it was due.. Doh!) things started to settle. I actually had a few no hitter days!

I went with a completely different attitude, I wasn't going to work my holiday around my D. D was going to have to fit in with me. Last time I was constantly testing and correcting, this time I tested when I needed to. I was a lot more relaxed, a lot more in control and had a lovely time with my family. My parents commented a couple of times of the massive change since our last vacation, which was lovely to hear :)

The bloods for my latest HbA1c were taken before I left for my hols (just in case it was a disaster) so I'm hoping for a reduction since last time, my average when I left was 7.9 so fingers, toes and everything crossed. My BGs have taken a few days to settle after getting home, so I'm now trying to get back into the swing of things and get my average back down. 

I've also found an event I'm going to take part in later this year to raise money for Diabetes UK (nothing hardcore like a marathon I'm afraid!!). A local fun run is being held in October, so expect a post once I've signed up :)

It's good to be back.

Emma x

Back to Black

So I've finally decided to bite the bullet and write this post. It's been a few weeks/months coming but hopefully sharing will help... *gulp*

Since getting back off my holiday I've been incredibly D focused, trying to get back on track with my BG levels and feeling more in control of things. I've had the occasional blip along the way with both bad hypo's and one bad hyper a couple of weeks ago but levels are back to pre-holiday.
PHEW!

My moods are yet to return to normal though. Losing control on holiday got me pretty low and upset, it was like I'd gone back to square one after almost two years and I hated it. I was snappy one minute and crying the next in sheer frustration. None of which is great in the Sunshine State and Disneyland where everyone is happy happy happy!

It's not as frequent, but it's still very much there.
Diabetes burnout or depression? Both? I don't know.

I pretty much wake up in a 'black' mood, irritable for no reason, lethargic, introverted and generally not nice to be around. Nothing bad has happened though, it's like waking up on the wrong side of bed as some people say. Little things can set me off, crying, angry and generally feeling alone (even though I know I'm not). Thoughts of living with D for the rest of my life enter my head and I question if I'm strong enough to do it?

Since been diagnosed I got on with it, I didn't really grieve if that makes sense.. I went back to work within a couple of days and that was that. As my parents still don't know a huge amount about my condition I don't really tell them how scared I am sometimes about D and its possible complications..

I'm hoping that the PDAC course next month will help me with my emotions and how to deal with them properly. I'm a bugger for bottling things up and not telling people how I'm feeling. I'm trying though. I try and be open with Amy as much as a can, even though its still a bit alien to me and it does help. Hopefully these 'black moods' will become less and less frequent and will just be a once in a blue moon thing..

Is It Just Me?

As some of you already know I went abroad in May and suffered with stubborn high blood sugars for 95% of the trip, numerous corrections, leaving me a bit of a tired and emotional mess for a few weeks.

Before I left for my trip, the general consensus  from my DSN, Consultant, and other PWD was that hot weather reduces your BG so you need to reduce your insulin as the heat and exercise will absorb it much quicker...

At my Grandma's today we were talking about it and my Dad turned to me and said "did anyone else say that they've had a similar experience  to you whilst going on holiday?"

Ummm...

Sometimes it's great being unique and different from everyone else..but with something like that, another person going yeah I know exactly what you mean would have been brilliant and a bit of a relief. My parents were awesome but didn't really know what to say or how to help me =/

Have any of you suffered with this as well? Or had your D go against what everyone said making you feel like the odd one out?

Disney's Newest Ride.... The Glucoaster!

I've been a naughty blogger recently *slaps wrist* Not really wanting to post about my D experience abroad but knowing that it'll help in the long run... so put it off for a few days.

Apologies in advance for a more serious, negative post!

As some of you know, on my last holiday to Florida I was a few weeks away from being diagnosed with D so felt pretty awful for the majority of our trip. This time I was extremely nervous/anxious about travelling with D and how it would behave.

Before going, people said that I'd have to reduce my insulin because of heat absorption, exercise etc. So on my first proper day in the Sunshine State that's what I decided to do (trying to be one step ahead). D didn't like that at all, and despite a good walk around Universal Studios for over half a day my sugars sky rocketed. Admittedly I did have a cooked breakfast from a Ponderosa (which was soooooo good) but not an American portion!

This is how my body continued to deal with the increasing heat for the rest of my trip. I quickly upped my dose and tried to stick to some sort of routine with meal times (which isn't really what you want on holiday). But my parents (Super D-Rents) were great about it and really supportive. Stopping every now and then in the shade so I could test and correct and finding places that didn't just serve burgers and fries.

I'd love to say that I kicked D's arse into utter submission but I didn't. I folded and broke down more and more. I hated it more than ever, knowing this time what was wrong with me but not being able to fix it. Constantly testing and correcting meant my fingers were sore and my stomache was covered in tiny bruises. My patience wore thin and by the end of an evening I got snappy or emotional. At one point I asked my parents to hit me over the head with a shovel and have done with it. Funny now looking back but at the time I really meant it.

Almost a week later and today I've had all readings under 10mmol for the first time since I went away so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm getting back on track..

This isn't to say my holiday was a complete wash-out!

The time in-between testing was great and it was great being back in Orlando and apart from worrying about me, my parents also had a great time :) I went on lots of rides that I haven't before (insane waiting times ruled out Harry Potter rides/shops which was a complete bummer) and even held a little alligator called Oscar!

My Frio bags worked a treat to and from the UK and during my entire holiday the only reason for being stopped was for having suncream in my handbag at Orlando airport! Felt like a non-D person not being stopped for having pens & needles in my manbag which was nice :)

I think it'll be a while before I go anywhere long haul again, but at least I can say I had a go and learnt from it..

Our gangsta style Cadillac hire car!

Kicking the D!



Cupcake with sprinkles!

How not to decorate your car?

Going Across The Pond: The Exits Are Here, Here and Here

So it's not long till I go away on holiday now, not sure how I'm feeling about it all yet, bit muddled. I'm obviously happy and excited to go, the last time we went I was really ill so didn't enjoy it at all. Drank about 8 bottles of apple & blackcurrant squash (the one you add water to) and chocolate milk.

Thought of both of those just makes me wanna gag.

The last day of the holiday we went to the Magic Kingdon then back to the airport and I felt like shit. I can vaguely remember my mum trying to buy something from a crowded gift shop tipping out all her spare change which pissed off me off majorly to the point where I walked out of the shop. I was probably as high as a kite and just layed on the aiport floor for ages feeling weird and wanting to sleep.

Now I'll be feeling 100% better but there's soo much to think about without actually doing anything D related..

Copies of prescriptions, insulin boxes, letters from Doctors, where to put my insulin, where to put stuff so they can see/scan it easily, insurance, time difference, weather, exercise... it's a bit of a brain scramble!

I've been doing my research into the who, what, where and why but if you have any useful tips or advice please just leave me a comment, it'll be hugely appreciated <3

Our suitcases came down from the loft yesterday and I'm half-packed already! Found my SeaWorld drink bottle and my Disney poncho which me looks like Big Bird (it's big enough for about 2-3 people) BUT it keeps me dry! xD

Looking forward to no work, great weather, getting a tan(!), seeing all the new rides, trying proper cupcakes and (phone/time permitting) taking part in DSMA on twitter!

Not long now!!! I'm going to be such a pain in the arse at work for the next few days :D

xx

New Plan

Hi folks

Hope you've had a good start to the new year! Mine was a bit of a damp squid... maybe NYE 2011 is the year I'll actually see it in from somewhere apart from my bedroom.

I used to love the week between Xmas and New Year, sleeping until 10am, eating whenever, pyjama days. Now its different. It cocks up my routines and my sugars show it. I'm getting double figures again the mornings which I'm not happy with despite giving myself extra Lantus (which had been working great until recently).

Maybe my body's getting used to routine again?

Ugh diabetes is a pain in the arse. Whats it going to be like in Florida? I really want to enjoy this holiday and right now I'm worried its just going to be test, test, test. Last time I went it was the month before I got diagnosed and I felt god awful. Really want the diabetes fairy to be on my side this time =/

I also found out last week (thanks to the rubbish Royal Mail post problems) that I have to have another blood test before my adjusting course at the end of the month. Plus there's a nice long questionnaire to go with it.

Awesome ¬_¬

My last blood test was only a few weeks ago and it hurt like hell for about 3 days!!! I know it'll help the experts etc but you'd think with my last one being not so long ago they'd let me off... My appointments on Friday so at least I'll have the weekend.

I'm looking forward to the course, a few people on the forum have done different versions all saying how great it was and how its helped them a lot. I really hope it does. I'd love to have a lower HbA1c in April at my next 4 monthly check up.

So my new plan for 2011 is to test more - mainly after meals which I don't do very often - and to start using these recipes I've got, rather than them gathering dust. Also maintain/improve my exercise and see how it goes from there!

xx